Start Close In

But I don’t know where to start?But how do I know if I am on the right path?But I have so many ideas and interests I don’t know what to follow first?

‘Start close in’

That’s a line from a beautiful David Whyte poem.‘Don’t take the second step/ or the third/ start with the first thing/ close in/ the step you don’t want to take’In the world of options and openings, in the world of possibility and promise, there are many pathways. As we fill our world with media and screens and flickering glittering lights, it can be hard stop, let alone start. We jump ahead of ourselves. We follow a flock just because there is already movement there. We expect the answers elsewhere, externally.‘Start close in’You see, our bodies know. The intimacies of our cells and the spaces between the fibres of our inner being know when we are on the right track. They vibrate with aliveness and seek out the mystery. They are generous and open and communicative with the very thing that sets them vibrating.And when we’re not on the right path? We’ll, it’s contraction. It’s that deep pit in the stomach, distinct from nerves, which offers us ominous signs. It’s a tightening in the shoulders, a gripping of the jaw, a fake smile, an endless tiredness, an apathy that laces us up from within. Sometimes you can’t rationalise it. But you know.To stop is to face up to it and really listen. To stop can be the biggest, boldest move you will ever make. It is then that you’ll know you have to shake things up and make that daring move- leave a job, leave a relationship, face up to your addiction, apologise. You feel a quickening, and simultaneously the world that was known to you- your crutches and your vices- begin to rattle and wobble. No wonder you feel shaken.‘Start with the ground you know’, Whyte adds. It is a nod to what will steady us; ‘the pale ground beneath your feet, your way of opening the conversation’In learning to stand with solid feet on the ground, we learn to steady ourselves. We learn to take responsibility for our own presence here; the weight of our beingness, the quality of our relationship with our own aliveness. And when we stand still, and start there, we allow the silence in. This is a real place of courage and bravery: the place we find when we stop. We quickly learn that the silence isn’t really silence. It too has a voice. It resonates with the conversation we are inviting with ourselves. The real conversation. It welcomes in questions we haven’t wanted to face; the hard, bitter and challenging questions which we know will change us. The silence fine tunes our bodies so we can trust again, knowing what doors to close. As the silence rests in our bodies we can respond again to the clues that will set us on the right path. The silence is the key.

So, when you are wondering what is the next best thing to do or when you are unclear of the path, can you make space for the silence?

Can you choose to stop, to ground and find a way back into yourself because the wonderful thing is that when you start close in, you continue close in. You are closer to your own truth. This can be your gift to the world, for there you will be a better guide to others. There you can be a listening ear, a balm or a brave companion to another. And that way, together, we all can find our way to our own first steps, close in.

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Start close in,don’t take the second stepor the third,start with the firstthingclose in,the stepyou don’t want to take.Start withthe groundyou know,the pale groundbeneath your feet,your ownway of startingthe conversation.Start with your ownquestion,give up on otherpeople’s questions,don’t let themsmother somethingsimple.To findanother’s voice,followyour own voice,wait untilthat voicebecomes aprivate earlisteningto another.Start right nowtake a small stepyou can call your owndon’t followsomeone else’sheroics, be humbleand focused,start close in,don’t mistakethat otherfor your own.Start close in,don’t takethe second stepor the third,start with the firstthingclose in,the stepyou don’t want to take.~David Whyte, River Flow: New and Selected Poems

What if...

What if…What if it is easier than you think it is?What if you're already good enough?What if you put your inner critic in its rightful place?What if you already know?What if you quit now?What if you actually do know what you need?What if time is on your side?What if you said ‘No’?What if it is closer than you think it is?What if you already have all the resources that you need to start?What if regret is the only form of failure?What if there is no right way or wrong way?What if there are no rules?What then...?  

Creative Islanders: Miceal Murray

The Creative Islanders is a blog series showcasing creative and social entrepreneurs and practitioners in Ireland who are stepping into their dreams, purpose and passions and choosing to do 'business as unusual' while being based in Ireland. The series aims to be a 'behind the scenes' look into their creative practices, process, motivations and mindsets, shining light of what makes people tick, and how, collectively Ireland is alive with creative possibility.Next up in the series is Miceal Murray, a forager and cook who has recently founded ‘Taking A Leaf’, a new business running creative food events with a focus on wild and local foods. Inspired by the celtic cycles, Miceal has created a series of seasonal dining experiences and coupling them with music and art. With over 25 years in the cafe and restaurant business it was time for him to step onto his own path, combining his passion for sustainable enterprise with his love of nature and the wild. Miceal is also a Thrive School participant. And so with great pleasure I hand over to his lovely and kind self…What keeps you in Ireland?What keeps me in Ireland is the sense of home I get from here. It's in my bones. Being from the country the connection is strongest felt from the landscape and the wild. And it is specifically the Irish landscape and whatever magic emanates from it. It seems to hold a mystery and a richness that I can’t find elsewhere. Obviously there is beauty all over the world but I find something else here; something hard to put into words. It is a distillation of many things, history, stories, art, music and memory. And of course my husband, family and friends.What makes you tick? What motivates you?A deep and heartfelt desire to live more in tune with the natural rhythms of nature and self, and to express these in a creative and meaningful way.  It is also the desire to live in a way that is more connected to nature in an urban setting.Why do you do what you do?I think that part of me might shrivel up and die if I didn't. It keeps me vital.What do you do just for the love of it?Discovering new things, be it music, food, books, magazines or places. Plus, jumping over a wall or crawling under a hedge to get to a new patch of land.What does the creative process teach you?Be open to change. I can visualise an idea or concept but to actualise it I must be open to change. Ideas can change or they can grow into something completely new, or they can be shelved and returned to at a more appropriate time.What were some of the key moments along your own journey that helped you to get where you are today?I learned so much from a wonderful lady called Judith Hoad. She is a teacher, healer and author and she introduced me to so many plants and explained their medicinal and edible properties. She inspired me to think differently.Where do you find inspiration? Any hidden gems?Inspiration comes from all sorts of places. I recently watched a film called "Juliette of the Herbs" it stayed with me for days, as did "Embrace of the Serpent". Although the content doesn’t directly inspire me the magic of the characters involved does. But you can’t beat a good walk to get you out and get the juices flowing.How do you get through tough times? What sustains you?It is pretty simple really: get outside and walk the dogs.What key lessons have your learned about doing business or being a creative practitioner along the way?It is strengthening to know that everything changes and nothing is constant. Whatever you are going through, whether good or bad, it will come to an end and change into something else.Do you have a morning routine? Ideally I like to do an early Astanga class. It really sets my day up and I am more determined to get on and get stuff done. I have an on/ off relationship with meditation but this too helps. But most of all walking the dogs first thing through the very wild Liffey Valley park gets me going. What books have inspired you?The Global Forest by Diana Beresford KrogerWhat advice do you wish you had received as you were stepping onto your own creative path?Make lists. And then make more lists.Be kind to yourself if mistakes are made. I am learning all the time and am very new at this game so I have a long way to go and many mistakes to make.And what advice would you give to your future self?Work less, garden more.What is coming up next for you?On the 13th of August I am completing a cycle of dinners inspired by and connecting with the ancient celtic festivals. So this time it will be Lughnasa and the beginning of harvest. Simple local food with foraged elements. After that I will be collaborating with the composer Hilary Mullaney to create an immersive dining experience. Also a series of walks to get people out and introduce them to some plants. 

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All photos by Vivienne O'Brien.

Find out more anout Taking A Leaf over here on the website and also over on Facebook here.

Thrive School is here!

 From the age of about 12 I've had notions to set up an alternative kind of school. It would be a place of learning, but not traditionally. It would be a place where we could bring our whole selves- our head, hearts and hopes. It would be a place of skill building, and a place of strong community. That dream has taken several iterations over the years and now is emerging in real time, big time. It is a dream which is born from experience and born with the deep desire to serve others on their own creative and entrepreneurial paths.And so, with this message I welcome Thrive School into the world. (I am launching this on my birthday too- a day I have always cherished as I shared it with my father's birthday also- so it feels extra special!)Thrive school is a different kind of school- one for dreamers, creatives, entrepreneurs, start-up-ers or people who really want to make a difference. It is about doing business, and life as unusual and giving us the support we need along our undulating journey.I have been a freelancer/ soletrader for over 8 years now. It has been a journey full of learning, adventure, failure, progress and challenge. I have had huge highs and huge lows through it all and there have been so many times when I have wanted to give up because it felt too lonely or too difficult.  One thing I know for sure is that I would not be doing what I am doing without the support of friends and a network of other creative and entrepreneurs globally who lend support and advice. Their input has been invaluable.The kind of learning which we need to create a life we thrive through I know can be accelerated with the right structure, people, resources and community around us. Thrive School is that- a place to connect and learn from others on their entrepreneurial journey, and hone valuable personal and professional skills along the way.Before Christmas I reached out to my network and asked what they were seeking.  Above all, people wanted a place to gather, connect, learn and find in-person support, which I know is so necessary and vital when working alone. And so I realised it was time for Thrive School to emerge.We start on 17th May! Thrive School Dublin will take place from May- Oct (with a summer break built in).  It combines an in-person gathering once a month with an online learning component packed full of resources and tools. There will be an internal accountability support as part of the programme and it includes a private one to one coaching package for each individual who unrolls.This is going to be very very special…I am delighted to be teaming up with Emmet Condon from Homebeat and Cafe Thirty Four, who has offered his beautiful cafe space to be our Dublin HQ, and also very excited to welcome to the team Claire Faithorn, a fellow coach and current programme manager for the Suas Volunteer and Leadership programme- she is a bright star and brings such fresh energy and insight to the process.Want to join? Read more over here, come along to our open evening on May 3rd or drop me a message.Know you are ready you apply? Application form is here and applications are now open. Application deadline is Tues 10th May.It's time to Thrive!  

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Fearless Freedom

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I decided to do a little experiment with this post, and include a recording of me reading it. Some people love to read, others love to listen. So to all those listeners out there, this is for you. Click on the bar below to play. And for others, read on!

[audio mp3="http://www.claremulvany.ie/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Fearless-Freedom.mp3"][/audio] 

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I write it in bold across my diary.I say it in my head, out loud, repeatedly.I let the words rest on my heart, to move me.It was one of my yoga teachers, Cara, who planted them there last Saturday. ‘Fearless Freedom’, she said, ‘they are our words for the year’. Our practice together was an exploration of what it means to move from that place- with an intention to flow with grace and ease; to let go of what we know to discover what we don’t; to act through power with an unfaltering, unquestioning belief in our capacity for joy and our right to it from the inside out. Our practice was our offering. Our practice was prayer.They are two beautiful words. Fearless. Freedom. Together they pack a powerful punch. I have been sifting through the words over the last few days and it feels like they are here to stay. As signposts; as maps.I am making some big decisions at the moment, those big life altering ones, and fear has been visiting, frequently. It is the kind of fear that keeps me small; the fear that makes me doubt myself and the fear what swells procrastination to the point that it too becomes powerful.So what to do?‘Fearless Freedom’, I say again to myself. What would ‘Fearless Freedom’ look like right now? What would Fearless Freedom do?' It is as if Fearless Freedom is personified, taking a life of its own. I learn that it is a warrior at heart. It knows its own answers. It locates the cracks of courage within, sounds them out so as to amplify them, one little step at a time. Courage comes when given space to rise.The question alone is the key. ‘What would ‘Fearless Freedom’ do?’ By asking it, I am finding that the fear itself is diminished and possibility is allowed back in. You see, the questions we ask of ourselves make a difference. We ask bigger questions so that we get to expand into them. The bigger the question, the bigger the response. Then, with warrior words alight within our hearts, there is less room for procrastination, less room for the small, questioning self. Words matter. Questions matter.So, when I ask myself, ‘What would Fearless Freedom do?’, my inner self talks to my outer self, telling me it looks something like this:It means writing the email to the person you admire.It means asking for help.It means saying no when your gut tells you so.It means saying yes, over and over, to the dream, the vision, the place of possibility.It means go.It means doing it, even if you don't feel ready.It means placing value in what you offer.It means showing up, repeatedly, even when part of you wants to retract, calcify because right now it feels safer. Deep down, long term, you know it is not.It means I believe in you.It means let fear be your ally, keeping you moving, onwards.It means I love you.Fearless Freedom.Let’s wave that flag and let the questions fly.May the responses carry us, unfold us, unfurl us, yield us to the warrior within. Let them define us, refine us.Fearless Freedom.Let the words enter us, to move us, to clear our way, to make us believe again. Let them be our offering. Let them be our anchor. Let them be our prayer.I say ‘us’ here. For the ‘we’ matters too. Together we can pack a powerful punch. Courage comes when given space to rise, and it is easier as a pack. So I’ll take your hand, if you’ll take mine.Fearless Freedom.Amen.

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Creative Islanders: Michael Gallen

(Headshot Photo: Daire Hall)

The Creative Islanders is a new interview series showcasing some of Ireland’s brightest creative talent and enterprise. It is about people who are stepping into their dreams, purpose and possibilities and embracing their one wild life. The interviews give a rare ‘behind the scenes’ glimpse into creative practice, motivations and mindsets- shining a light on what makes people tick, and how, collectively, Ireland is alive with creative possibility.

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Michael Gallen is next up in the Creative Islanders Series, the first of 2016. A composer, multi-instrumentalist, singer and maker, Michael exudes many layers of  brilliant talent.I first came across him through the band, Ana Gog, for which is pianist and lead vocalist. I simply love the richness and lightness of their work, its breath and depth too.  Since then it has been wonderful to follow his other compositional work for film and theatre, equally rich and even more diverse. It seems like things are just about to take a leap for Michael, with a new large scale compositional work for the National Concert Hall in the pipeline and with 2016 seeing him being awarded the Trinity College Long Hub residency.Plus, beyond his music, he is also a gent as his words below so evidence.So over now to Michael Gallen, and when you are finished reading I highly recommend diving in his music and videos. You will find links below.

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What keeps you in Ireland? The answer to this question keeps changing. I lived in France for a few years and I moved home primarily to be closer to family and to the band. Returning to that intimate space made some aspects of life and work more difficult, in that there’s less of a sense of freedom, but it also brought so much richness into my everyday life. When I got back to Dublin I was very taken with becoming a part of the arts scene here - but in truth I think that I’d probably get that feeling in any city if surrounded by people whom I admire and whose work I enjoy. I think that I feel closest to Ireland when out in the countryside, away from it all. I tend to do most of my composition work in quiet, isolated places, and I get a lovely sense of belonging when I’m out for a ramble and stumble across some ruin or sacred site - or even just a beautiful view.What makes you tick? What motivates you?Once I’ve managed to get started on some music (which is definitely the hard part), I think I’m only really motivated by the next note, bringing the idea to life and doing it justice. I tend not to be able to think of anything else. I love performing and it’s amazing to imagine how other people might feel when listening to my music - but everything grows from that itch when I feel like I have the beginning of something in my head and life won’t be right until I get it made.What do you do just for the love of it? I’ve been doing a lot of driving over the past year, and one of my favourite things is to take random turn-offs when I see a sign for a holy well or wedge tomb or the like. They’re never as close to the main road as you hope and I invariably end up trudging through several fields or spending ages trying to turn the van when a road unexpectedly just ends. I love the spontaneity of it, not knowing what you’ll find, if anything. I also love swimming in the sea - this was my first year swimming all the way through winter.

(Ana Gog)

What does the creative process teach you? That there are parts of myself to which my everyday, conscious thought doesn’t have access. I am always surprised by the way that music sometimes pours out of me, and I often look back on periods of creation in a bit of a daze and wonder where it all came from. I know that so many aspects of the piece are shaped by my decisions, but the substance of the work seems to come from a part of myself that is much wiser than the one that regularly botches things up - burns the toast, forgets the keys, etc!Why do you do what you do?I have no idea. I love music, and both listening and writing have been hugely important to me from a very young age but I never made a decision to become a musician - it’s always felt like something that was already decided. I couldn’t come up with reasons for it without sounding cheesy, and because I honestly never thought about it - there was never any question of why, it was just already what I was doing.What were some of the key moments along your own journey that helped you to get where you are today?Ah, so so many. I’ve been very lucky in terms of some of the people I have met quite randomly who have given me direction and support - beginning with the fact that I was born into a very musical family. I remember being given some minidisks of Arvo Part and John Adams’ music by my physics teacher at secondary school-  hard music to come across in pre-Youtube Monaghan - and that was definitely around a time when music became bound up with all my ideas about adulthood and work. Meeting the band was a massive moment of course;  they’ve been by far the biggest influence on my musical life. And then all of the times when things didn’t go according to plan, when I didn’t get certain opportunities or commissions that I was sure I would; those are always the times when I’ve had to figure out whether success is necessary to why I make music. Each time I’ve gotten back to finding joy in the work itself has been a key moment.How do you get unstuck? Any secret tools? I go to the quietest place imaginable and wait!

(Photo from theatre production TARDIGARDE)

Where do you find inspiration? Any hidden gems?In the past I’ve found inspiration in a multitude of places, - other people’s music, books, nature. For the most part it in happens in solitude - I think that it’s probably just that I’m more observant when I’m off on my own, or that I’m able to devote more of my awareness to the world around me. I’m a bit of an extremist in that regard; when I’m working I shut off from the internet completely for a few weeks and ideally go off to some hideaway where I can have space. With larger work, like the orchestral piece that I’m finishing at the moment, I find that it takes a few days of silence before my mind becomes capable of hearing what it needs to or slowing down to the pace of thought that the composition requires.How do you get through tough times? What sustains you? I try my best not to let myself become stagnant. I don’t think that I can say anything meaningful about sad events such as the loss of love or loved ones, in that each of those situations has been so unique in itself, and I don’t think that any of my experience of dealing with them will make me any better prepared for the next one. I have a wonderful group of friends, and they’ve been the biggest support in times like those. But I know that in terms of depression or periods of low mood, the big thing for me is to try to keep moving, to stave off the feeling of total inertia. I have one of those overactive minds that can start to turn in on itself if not kept active, so if I can, I try to weed out the tiny bad habits that I know can eventually turn into more substantial thought-knots.What key lessons have your learned about doing business or being a creative practitioner along the way? What have you learned from your 'failures'? As I mentioned above, I think that the moments where things haven’t worked out as planned have probably been the times when I developed a proper sense of vocation. I love meeting older artists who have lived entire lives of those ups and downs, and who, despite the madness of choosing so unstable a career, have also fallen in love, had families, found a myriad of different roads to happiness and still maintained a healthy relationship with their creative work.Do you have a morning routine? Or other creative habits or rituals? No, I’ve never been good at keeping routines, much as I’d love to. Every now and again I make out a timetable that has me up early and keeping regular hours, and then two nights later I’ll end up staying up til 5am working on something and it all falls apart! I make big maps of all of my pieces before starting to score them out - that’s about my only regular creative habit.What books have inspired you? Or what websites do you turn to? I read quite a lot, so it’s hard to whittle them down - The Magic Mountain by Thomas Mann, Dostoevsky’s The Brother’s Karamazov, Roberto Bolano’s Savage Detectives, The Lover by Marguerite Duras - I don’t know whether I’d say they inspired me but I remember the reading of each of those (and a few others) as  types of events, similar to things that happened to me in “real” life. I love poetry too - starting from an obsession with Patrick Kavanagh and leading everywhere from Sylvia Plath to Rilke to Shakespeare. Actually, Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet were quite inspirational in the way that they spoke about the creative life and the challenges that it might present. I’m not really a website person I’m afraid!

Photo: Sharon Murphy

What advice do you wish you had received as you were stepping onto your own creative path? Practical advice, about how best to balance a life where your work is unstructured and self-disciplined. Not to worry too much about the future, and to enjoy little successes for themselves and not as pit-stops on the way to bigger things.And what advice would you give to your future self? Just the same - to enjoy all things, including work, for themselves. Not to let the stuff of life pass by without being fully experienced.What is coming up next for you? At the moment I’m finishing a piece for the RTÉ Concert Orchestra and Cór na nÓg inspired by Oscar Wilde’s fairy tales called Wilde Stories - that’ll be recorded in April and broadcast on Lyric FM in May, with some live performances on the cards for later this year. Over the next few months I’ll be working on a new choral commission, an installation and two dance collaborations - it’ll be fun to work with a team again for a while! We’re also mixing Ana Gog’s second album at the moment, with a view to a release either late this year or early in 2017. So lots on the cards…

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Thank you so much Michael for your contribution to this series.Here are LINKS below: You can read more about Michael over on his website hereAnd listen to some of Ana Gog's music over hereThere is also a selection of Michael's own compositions over on SoundCloud. Here is a sample, 'Difference in Clouds' from TARDIGRADE. 

And the year that was...

 Hi Folks,This post comes a little later than hoped as my website was hacked and it has taken a few days to get it back on its feet- which I am so grateful has been accomplished. Thanks to all those people who have offered advice and support.So now over to this... (mailing list subscribers, you will have already received this in your inbox, with thanks)...There is the doing, and then there is the being.2015 invited a lot of doing for so many of us. Looking back now it reminds me how much can be done in just a year. But before we swing into the new, it is powerful to pause. In review can come insight and if we are lucky it can inform our doing, and further still, our being too.So tonight I pause.For myself, I entered 2015 in a bit of a haze, lacking focus and feeling the depths of the doldrums. But something inside me urged me to sit with that shadow and question what really wanted to be born. I sat (sometimes reluctantly). I cried. I wrote (a lot). I sat some more and thankfully within a few weeks the doldrums shifted and the darkness stepped aside. There followed a blast of a year in which my ‘doing’ had a boost of inspiration. I launched two new websites, a new coaching practice and a new business. I set myself the task of learning to drive and passed my test by May (I am still pinching myself on this one and so utterly delighted that I have finally done it). I also faced a long held dream, and fear, of teaching online and have hosted two very rewarding online courses. I created a series of seasonal planners and set up my own Etsy shop. Then there was my first trip to Morocco, some additional yoga teacher training with one of my role models, Elena Brower, photographing a wedding in Turkey and a wonderful trip exploring the South West coast of Ireland. The year was also punctuated with my first art exhibitions- a group show last January and my first little solo exhibition in the summer- and some artwork delightfully sold. There were public speaking engagements, seminars and workshops which I hosted, and curating the Creative Islanders series on my blog with a corresponding live event. My camera took me places too, with photoshoots and portrait sessions and a few beautiful weddings. Most surreally there was even a live painting experience at a festival. Beneath it all, like my bedrock, I taught my regular weekly yoga classes and continued exploring my own practice, which seemed to fuel it all. So, with reflection, the doing of 2015 was vibrant and diverse bringing me into new territory and opening doors which twelve months ago were unknown to me. And of course, with the newness, comes fresh questions and fresh challenges- and it is these which I think are key.In a way I measure growth and success not with the amount of things I have done but the quality of new questions I carry as a result. I am interested in the way in which my being navigates those questions and how, in asking them, I am carried to the things I need to learn the most. The doing then is the vehicle.The ‘being’ of Clare found 2015 an intriguing one-  at times exhilarating and other times tough. Reviewing my own learning I can see that this year I was confronted with having to let go of variants of control, namely, loosening the hold on perfection and releasing the need to be right all the time. ‘Right’ in fact, seems to present itself as more nuanced now, while the need for perfection has been exposed for what it really is- the fear of failure, ridicule or being truly and deeply seen.We are many layered beings and when our ‘doing’ is activated it can bring us closer to our deeper self, our vitality and the base layers which govern us. To ‘do’ our true work in the world or to show up as our true being is to be raw with vulnerability. But most brilliantly when our doing aligns with our true longing it brings us closer to our own edges and to the questions we most need to ask ourselves.So, as we move into 2016, I am welcoming the new questions, particularly ones which probe to my being; the ones which challenge how I am showing up, how I am being of service, and how I am in relationship to others through it all.I have many ‘doing’ plans for the coming year but beyond them all my intention is to ‘do’ with aliveness, warmth, generosity and authenticity, so that my being may be strengthen and and my doing take on a greater depth, reach and vibrancy.Now,  as I give 2015 a nod farewell, I give thanks too to those people who have helped to shape these last months into what there were. To the people who supported me, challenged me, questioned me, inspired me- thank you. And I give thanks too for a little being who has come into my life as this year draws to a close- to little Milly, my new canine companion, my new friend, and my new little teacher. Thank you for choosing me, and I you.And to each of you, dear readers, as you transition into 2016 may your doing be blessed by your true being, and may your questions lead you to insight.Happy New Year.Clare. (And Milly) x

Creative Islanders: Fiadh Durham

 The Creative Islanders is a new interview series showcasing some of Ireland’s brightest creative talent and enterprise. It is about people who are stepping into their dreams, purpose and possibilities and embracing their one wild life. The interviews give a rare ‘behind the scenes’ glimpse into creative practice, motivations and mindsets- shining a light on what makes people tick, and how, collectively, Ireland is alive with creative possibility.

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There is such an allure in textile design and weaving for me. Seeing a manual loom in action seems like I am travelling back in time to something ancient and wise, and hearing the loom heave back and forth has a meditative lull for me. I’ve never studied weaving but have much admiration for those who can spin myriad treads into such wondrous patterns while making sense of the what looks like a complex piece of equipment.It was with such lure I was drawn into Fiadh Durham’s shop in Dingle last summer. Fiadh had been mentioned to me by another friend but little did I realise that she had her looms on view and makes her beautiful textiles there also. Greeted with warmth, I was immediately impressed with Fiadh gentle touch and her passion for both business and weaving.So it is with great pleasure that we head to West Kerry for this next instalment of the Creative Islanders series with weaver, maker, and creative entrepreneur, Fiadh Durham....

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What keeps you in Ireland? So much!  The people, the craic, the scenery, the towns, the clean air and of course it is home. I have always loved to travel. The list of places I want to see gets longer rather than shorter with each trip. When I was younger I had this idea that I would pursue my dreams as a designer abroad, somewhere much more exotic and different to Ireland but the more places I explore the more I appreciate living in Ireland. There are so many opportunities here, it is up to the individual to make it happen!What makes you tick? What motivates you? It depends on what what element of my life or work I’m thinking about but in general I love a challenge, having something exciting to work towards. I love the idea of kind of custom designing ones own life, doing it your way, its not always easy but a major driving force for me is the thrill of the unknown. It keeps life interesting!What do you do just for the love of it? One is listening to good tunes and another is being outdoors, whether it is running, surfing or just going for a creative ramble with my camera and headphones… soaking up ideas fresh air! I suppose we all have that thing we need to to get head space and these are mine. Growing up, I think we spent 90% outside and I think that has stayed with me.What does the creative process teach you? Sometimes I might question the amount of time the creative process takes and I forget how important it really is in relation to my designs. For me, following a creative process teaches me patience, discipline and it allows for design development to happen naturally. I think good designers are problem solvers and you need time for that.Why do you do what you do?I love what I do. I don’t think it would be possible if I didn’t. I love designing and making (textiles especially) and I think in the back of my mind I always wanted to run my own business. Its only been in recent years that I have built up the confidence to realise that I can actually do it. The rewards of your worked being loved and appreciated outweigh the many headaches of running your own business.What were some of the key moments along your own journey that helped you to get where you are today?Making the decision that I was in it 100%. Full time. It had to be done. Another thing for me was realising that I was in Dingle because I chose to be and not because I ended up here. It’s a dream place to live if you can do what you love.I have been so inspired by successful creative artists and craftspeople over the years but funnily enough I’ve also been inspired by others who have not managed to make it work and if forces me to ask why and how will I do it differently.How do you get unstuck? Any secret tools? A bit cliché but I’d say believe in yourself and what you love.Where do you find inspiration? Any hidden gems? I am constantly being charmed by stunning colours and patterns around the Dingle peninsula especially but if you look hard enough I think you can find beautiful combinations in the most surprising places. I remember a speaker in art college once say that when you work as a designer that you see design in everything, everywhere you go, that doesn’t switch off. I wanted that to happen me and I think it has, so trick is catch the bug.How do you get through tough times? What sustains you? I try take a step back, get a bit of space from it all and then look at the bigger picture, it may be one bad day or week but things have a way of working out. Especially if you want it to, you just have to stay positive and keep going but be realistic about what is achievable too.What key lessons have your learned about doing business or being a creative practitioner along the way? What have you learned from your 'failures'? First thing for me is timekeeping; you need to be disciplined. Make out a plan and give yourself deadlines if someone else doesn’t. I’m not naturally organised so I have to really put the work in to these areas, it good to have what need to happen in the next day, week, month and so on.I had to write a detailed business plan when applying for funding and I would advise anyone setting up a business to do this.Do you have a morning routine? Or other creative habits or rituals? My routines always change but I do find it really helpful to have them, it keeps me grounded and healthier.What books have inspired you?  Or what websites do you turn to? I do like to read books, especially when I’m on holidays but the things that really inspire me are more visual. My favourite weaving book is ‘Mastering Weave Structures: Transforming Ideas Into Great Cloth’  by Sharon D. AldermanDesigners and websites I am into at the moment:  margoselby.com, habutextiles.com, giveirishcraft.com, irishdesignshop.com, makersandbrothers.com What advice do you wish you had received as you were stepping onto your own creative path? I would have liked to have more mentors in the beginning, so many things that would have been easier if I networked a bit more. You have to put yourself out there. In saying that, you have to have the confidence in your instinct. Take some advice but also know when its not right for you.And what advice would you give to your future self? Find a way to have a good work/life balance. I am a hard worker but I feel that surely its only all worth if if you have a healthy personal and professional life.What is coming up next for you? I feel that my business is at the brink of being properly launched so the next year will be all about getting Fiadh products to a much wider reach. I have big plans for online trading but the thing I’m most excited about is the new designs to come. I am investing in a multi-shaft computer aided hand loom and I will use this to create limited editions of more complex, dynamic designs. I’m so looking forward to getting stuck into that in the new year.

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Thank you so much Fiadh! I look forward to following the growth of your business and talent. Clare x

Fiadh's website is over here. 

And her Etsy shop is over here. 

   

Creativity as Presencing

 When I was 22 I moved to China for a year, teaching English language and literature at Peking University. It was one of the hardest times of my life. I was in at the deep end, alone, and felt like I was swimming against a very large crowd. I found Beijing to be over populated, over polluted and overwhelming. I did not speak Mandarin and I was teaching about 250 undergraduate and graduate students at the top university in China with no curriculum and no idea what I had got myself in for.Looking back now it was art that helped me get through it all. Art- namely writing and photography- gave me a window out and offered me vital breathing space to make sense of it all. And when I say vital I don’t just mean that it was important, I mean it was a way to breathe in new life and connect me to my own vitality. Not only that but it also helped me to find beauty in the broken bits. Art was grace. This was in the days before I could afford a digital camera (they were expensive things back then!), so I got myself a whole pile of simple disposable cameras. They were a saviour. Through all the noise, commotion and craziness I started to look for things that pleased me and started to take photographs: the unusual shape of ginko leaves; the way the rushes in the lakes bent and froze; the interweaving patterns the thousands of bicycles made in the snow; the steam from a bowl of street noodles; the ping pong bats used to reserve tables in the canteen. I started to notice the little details, and in the little details I found solace and belonging. That was during the day. At night, I wrote. In fact, I couldn’t stop writing. The simple act of writing helped to connect me to my body. I wrote by hand, page after page, each page allowing me room to find myself. I wrote my first novel in a couple of months (a book that will gladly stay in my drawer), a whole series of poems, a collection of short stories including one little children’s book (which I still love) and an English language learning textbook, which was even published!Through the taking of images I was able to stand on solid ground and through the writing process I was able to connect with my inner world. Together they brought me back home to myself and to a quality of presence which for a while I had lost.‘Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed’- Mary Oliver.Presence really is the key.Creativity, I have come to realize, is not so much a series of technical skills as a way of being present, and a way of capturing the quality of that presence. Now, as a photographer, when I feel present at an event or in good relationship with the object or person I intend to photograph I know it makes a massive difference to the type of photograph I am able to take. When I do not feel that my photographs are good enough or I have not learned from the experience, it is usually a sign that I was not fully engaged with the creative process to begin with, and certainly not with the moment when the image was taken. However, when I can plug into that presence, everything changes.Learning how to be present is a skill set which we can acquire and practice over time. The mindfulness revolution, yoga techniques and centuries of meditative practice have a huge amount to offer this process, as too the simple act of noticing.So here is a little practice for you... Next time you are feeling a little ungrounded, start to notice what is around you right now. The little details, the way the light falls or the curvature of shadow. Take a pen and write about it for 5 mins- no need to edit or review, just write. Or pick up your camera (maybe the one on your phone) and photograph just for a sake of seeing, and being.In the noticing is the act of presencing, and in the presencing is lies the seeds of transformation. Looking back now I am so grateful to that time in Beijing. It has helped to make me who I am. It helped me to shed old layers of myself and it forever brings me back to the page and my camera, to notice, connect, and at times, transform.

Learning to Ringmaster.

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Being a creative or social entrepreneur is akin to circus performance. You are learning to balance on tightropes as you juggle all your plates. Sometimes you feel like a bit of a clown as you put ideas out into the world not knowing if people will laugh or cry. Then there is the jumping through loops and hoops as you preform miraculous acts holding on by the skin of your teeth. Not to mention battling all the lions and tigers which enter the arena and the acrobatics you have to do with limited resources. And there you find yourself as ringmaster learning to co-ordinate it all with flair while selling tickets at the same time. Yes, a circus.Am I mad, I ask myself? There are frequent moments when I wonder why I ran away with the circus. Shouldn’t I just get a proper job and when did lion taming become part of my remit? But once in the arena there is a charm and a huge sense of gratification which keeps you showing up again and again.Brene Brown speaks about the power of being in the arena in her recent book, Daring Greatly and hinges inspiration on this quote from Theodore Roosevelt:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man*who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

(*or woman, obviously)The arena, I have learned, while a place of daring and rich learning, can also be a lonely and a hard place too. There are so many times I have wanted to leave but only with the support of friends, mentors, coaches and leadership training have I been able to stick it out. And I am glad I am here.  It is through the strength of support and having people to bounce ideas around and who offer insights into my blind spots that I have been able evolve and keep learning. Which is how my own coaching offerings have grown and why I am doing the work I am doing. I believe in the arena and I believe it doesn't have to be such a lonely place. Creative coaching is a whole array of tools and processes I have developed and use for working in the circus (metaphorically of course). From visioning exercises, to branding and communications strategy I offer one to one support to keep you thriving in the arena. It is like having an accountability buddy to keep you on track and a fellow ringmaster to help co-ordinate a masterful performance. I’ve been working with a wonderful woman recently called Sharon Green, who runs a company called Queens of Neon. Sharon shared some words recently which captures some of the creative coaching process:

I have been feeling my way along for a very long time, taking creative projects that come to me through word of mouth and throwing myself into them whole heartedly.But I always wonder how I can get more of the projects that I love, how do I word my website properly to reach out to clients that have the projects that really make me tick. I was recommended Clare by a friend and she all at once made sense of my confusion. She made me see that it is a waste of my energy always trying to change the copy on my website until I understand what my dream and my vision is. To start back at the beginning feels very freeing and exciting.She asks the right questions and listens intently picking out the words and phrases that make sense and always paying attention on an energy level so notices when things excite you. She helps you see your dream scenario and gives you structure and homework to help manifest it. In my case she is also bringing me out from the shadows to feature prominently on my website, honing in to what it is that makes my business unique and that is me. Its true therapy for the creative business person. I would highly recommend Clare to anyone, who like me, feels like they are close to filling their true potential but for reasons just can't seem to just get there.

Pow! Thank you Sharon.So if, like Sharon, you have big visions, creative goals, dreams of possibility but you would like some support to help clarify your direction, perhaps some creative coaching is for you. I offer a number of tailored packages. You can find out more over here. If this sparks interest, I offer a free 20 minute Skype call where we can figure if we are a fit for each other and what areas of the arena to focus on so that 2016 will bring you closer to it all.May the games commence… (*insert circus theme tune!)END of circus analogy now, I promise!..The above photo was taken in Cambodia at a circus I went to. I had totally forgotten about this image until I used the new 'Camera Roll' feature on flickr. AMAZING. Any flickr users still out there? This tool is amazing...