Transforming the comparison trap into the compassion trap...

I want to let you in on a secret folks. They don’t. Trust me. They don’t.Who don’t? What don’t they? I hear you say.Have it all figured out. I add. And ‘they’? Well they are all of us. Ah, a sigh of relief.More and more, this is what I see: people trying, people struggling, people fearing and so many people thinking they have to have it all figured out and worrying that they don’t.In the world of fast paced social media it is so easy to look around at other people and think they have it all sorted. We can look at their websites, glam shots, followers, comments, media coverage, products, services, sexy lives, sexy bodies, sexy friends, sexy everything and think… they have it all. In doing so we can feel so far removed that we think we can never ‘get there’, and so we don’t bother, or we stop believing, or we feel like hiding under the bed covers and never coming out.I am not fully sure where ‘there’ is, but one thing I am sure of is that it is not a fixed place, or number, or a bank balance. Ask any one of those people is they think they have it all sorted, or figured out and I am pretty sure that they’ll say no. How could they?And why do I know this? Because by virtue of the fact that life is a creative act and art, living it is a creative process, and, at best, the creative process is messy. In many ways, the messier the better. The mess is so much part of the process that it is the process. It is by navigating the mess that new ideas and connections can emerge. The mess offers us a chance to explore and make non-direct linkages, which leads to new pathways. The mess is not negative, but necessary. But I also suspect this: that behind the scenes of every glam shot, or every instagram tally, or every six-figure business owner, is a person desperately willing themselves on to navigate this messy and complex and beautiful thing called life. Behind the scenes, in fluctuating waves, there is also doubt, uncertainly, fear, courage, love, trust, pain, resistance, self love, self loathing, persistence, frustration, joy, anger and hope. Those feelings are there because they are intertwined in the human condition; they are all part of the natural emotional and cyclical journey of life.When we start to look over our shoulders it is all to easy to fall into the comparison trap. And it is exactly that- a trap. It snares us and stops us from making progress and building traction. It keeps us looking over our shoulder, forgetting to look within and making the next move which is only ours to make.Sure we can be inspired by others and learn from others, but let’s not assume they have it all figured out. It’s not fair on us, and it’s not fair on them.So, here’s another little secret from behind my own scenes: I am writing these words today because I needed to hear them myself. I so needed to hear them. All morning that comparison trap had its jaws wide open and was leaning in to pounce. Much as I hate to admit it, I found myself flipping through instagram, on websites, making judgements. Beyond the judgements, at a deeper level, I was criticising myself which went something like this: 'you should be doing more, you should have it sorted, you’ll never get there, ‘X’ can do it, why can’t you…'  Pretty soon there were tears, pretty soon I wanted to give up on it all, and pretty soon I was in a darker state of affairs….‘WOAH. WOAH. Slow down there woman, steady up'' Another saner part of my brain chimed in.  I suppose I could see what was happening.So, what to do? Well today, knowing that a break of scene was required, this is what I did:I turned off my phone.I went for a walk to the post box and then delivered the post to the elderly man who lives beside me. We had a chat about daffodils and chaffinches.I had a very hot shower.I lit the fire. Then a candle. Then some incense.I made some tea and sipped it slowly looking out at the rain.I cuddled my dog. And then again.I took a deep breath and I realised I need some reminders of the progress I have been making, and so I got out a bunch of journals and read back. Then I took out my computer, opened a blank document and started writing, as a reminder that I am just trying to figure it out, one step at a time. We all are.So let’s give ourselves some slack and wiggle room, and see if we can transform that comparison trap into a compassion trap. For us. For them. For each other.

Writing the Way to our Answers

 Friends,How are you? Really, I want to know.What’s on your mind? What keeps you up at night? What questions do you carry? What is your heart longing to say? What is it that you want to birth? What is it that you want to jettison?  What is it that you plan to do with your own wild and precious life? Why do I ask? For many reasons.I’ve been asking these questions of myself, and I suspect I’m not the only one.You see, I’m marking several thresholds. Firstly, it’s been six months since I made the big move out of Dublin down to the wilds of West Cork. I’ve had six month of open landscape and big skies, of wild encounters and starry nights. I’ve had six months of coastal walks and hedgerow viewing, and each time I’m out in nature it seems like I am seeing it all for the first time-  it always seems like the first time, for it always is. The new is in the way the light arrives each day, or the uprising of a wave, or the tumble of cloud or the particular shade of green at that particular moment. Six months seems like nothing at all but it is enough for me to realise that the space has been releasing me from certain ideas I’ve had of myself, or even certain ambitions, and in turning inwards I am finding the energy and drive to turn outwards again, reimagined. It is exciting, and daunting, and I am so so grateful for this space, this landscape and this remarkable piece of land I get to inhabit for a while…I’m stepping over another threshold too. It’s been 10 years since I started blogging, and 10 years since I set out on my crazy journey to write what was to become the book ‘One Wild Life’. It is so hard to believe it has been 10 years. (I have a surprise down the line for you all on that matter by the way- it is in development, so watch this space).  As I cross the threshold I have been reflecting in my journal on my journey since then; what I have learned, how I have changed, and what now wants to emerge.I realise that I must have written hundreds of thousands of words over these 10 years, many of which were discarded, many of which sit in journals, some of which wound their way into blog posts or articles- yet each word in itself, whether kept or unkept, remembered or forgotten, is somehow life-giving. I say that even though I’ve abandoned two books in the last few years, and burnt the whole manuscript of my first novel. Yes, gone.But they are not really gone. It is just that the form I was placing upon them was forced, and the words I was choosing to share were not really the true ones. I was pushing them into a shape that they didn’t fit into. And beyond that, I was scared to let them take me to my edge, to that raw place of truth and beauty were great writing goes. Now I know that the fear is a signpost; it tells me I am on to a good thing, the honest thing, the brave thing, the uncomfortable thing, the thing that pushes as my edges and takes me outside myself to be able to go inside myself with more force, grace and determination. And so in a funny way my fear tells me to trust that more words will come, and those words will change me. What shape they land in doesn’t really matter because the words in themselves are the life-giving force. The words themselves generate. They carry new ideas, insights, possibilities, connections. It is in the writing that the magic happens.And yet, there is power too in the witness. When we do choose to put our words into the world, we never really no where they’ll land, who they’ll touch, how they may stir things, who they could infuriate or who they will resonate with. Whatever happens afterwards is beyond us. In the space between us and the reader is another clink of magic.So I know words matter and I sense that how they land is out of our control. But what I think really matters is that we write them in the first place; for the love of it, for the connection to our creativity and our fear, and for the fundamental need to give voice to our voice. While I have not always been entirely consistent with mine, writing has given me a channel to my voice and a place where I have full expression. It’s both liberating, and connecting, and yes, I repeat, life-giving.And so I ask again.What’s on your mind? What keeps you up at night? What questions do you carry? What is your heart longing to say? What is it that you want to birth? What is it that you want to jettison?  What is it that you want to do with your own wild and precious life? Write it out, my friends, write it out out out. Listen to the place where fear tells you to go. Listen to the places of solace too, for you’ll be writing your very own map to your own answers. It’s your personal guide and who knows where it will land you.And if you need a witness, I’m also here. I’d love to read what you have to say. So, feel free to write to me my friends… What’s on your mind? What keeps you up at night? What questions do you carry? What is your heart longing to say? What is it that you want to birth? What is it that you want to jettison?  What is it that you want to do with your own wild and precious life?Replies to clare (at) claremulvany.ieI’m curious to see where this takes you. And me.Onwards,Clare xx 

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(And for a little musical treat, I heard Ger Wolfe perform in Levis Corner House in Ballydehob on Sunday Night, and this song, with all its magical simplicity and charm, had me in tears. So if you need some respite from all the questions, for the TV, from the radio, from the government, from the crazy times, may this be it! )

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 Thrive School is DUBLIN and CORK is open for applications. How about 5 months to dive into your dreams, vision and a support structure to bring your plans to life. Find out more and apply online here.

What to do on a slump day...

 We all have them- those days we’d rather not. The day the internal weather turns on us and we’d rather hide.I had one last week. It had started with big intentions-  to get up early, to do yoga, to dive into work and turn up my energy and productivity. It didn’t happen. I fell back asleep. I did a very brief bit of yoga. I felt resistance to being at my laptop. I ate cake.Working for myself I try to put best habits in place, be consistent and show up to my work with gratitude for the opportunity and the freedom. But that day, quite simply, I didn’t want to. I wanted to hide. I wanted companionship and I started to question it ALL.What does it matter in the bigger scheme of things? And I doing the real and important work? Does what I do make any difference at all? Who am I kidding?The latter question in particular is an open door to my inner critic. For me it’s the ‘your so lazy you’ll never get there’ voice. And when that voice starts it gives rise to lots of others. There is the ‘imposter voice’- this is the ‘who do you think you are’ voice. Then there is the voice which is constantly worrying about building my business and finance- this is the voice which says ‘here you go again, it will never work’.  Then there is the more personal one that thinks I’ll be single and alone for the rest of my life- the ‘you're not good enough voice’. Pretty soon there is a party in my head and the chatter so deafening it is no wonder I want to hide.It turns out though that most of us have parties in our head. I know of no person who doesn’t experience it from time to time; and of course, I know for some people, the conversation is so loud it challenges longer term function.What I say now is directed towards the days when you do feel in a slump, and need to find ways to quite the critic. That voice is so sabotaging, and learning to manage it and speak calmly to it is one of the most valuable learning adventures we can go on.Here are a some of the few ways I find useful. It’s not a definitive list and quite personal to me, so I’d love to hear yours too… 

 Go for a walk

Nature has so many answers for us. The rhythm of the day, the pattern of the seasons, the crest of a wave reminds us that everything passes. The voice will pass too. When I put my ear up against a gush of wind or the whirl of the sea, the inner voice softens and I hear a deeper wisdom, ‘this too shall pass’.

Open the ‘cheerleading folder’ 

I have a folder in in email account called ‘cheerleaders’. These are emails I have kept on file from friends, readers and clients who say the good things. They are reminders of the small or big ways my work has reached and influenced them. They are like electronic bouncing castles for the spirit. Everyone should have a cheerleading folder!

Name the inner critic

Give that voice a name, an actual name, like Betty or Bob, or Hilda. When the voice arrives, welcome it and say, ’Here’s Hilda again, I wonder what’s up with her today’, then thank her and ask her to leave now because you are busy and have work to do. Naming the voice does’t deny it but does help to put it in its place. It helps to separate yourself from it too and opens some space from a more positive reaction and response.

Do a job on your list that you enjoy 

So maybe the day that your inner critic is speaking loudly is a day you have all the nasty jobs on your list. Scrap that. Instead, do a job that brings you joy, or if it’s not a job, ring a person that brings you joy. Or if not a person, dance in the kitchen, sing in the bath, jump up and down, shake something out. Some action is important. Physical activity really helps. Chats with good friends can work wonders too. Share it, shake it!

Write it out

Journal. Journal. Journal. Scribble. Getting the voice on paper is another way of distancing it. If it is on paper it’s not in your head- or at least not in your head as much.

Shake up your environment, shake up your routine

Walk to work the same route every morning? Change your direction.Sit at the same place in your house if you are working from home? Move. Work in the garden, or in the bathtub, or on the floor. Changing your external perspective can help to shift your internal perspective. I love to go to a coffee shop and work there too, depending on my mood.

Get off your screens

Turn off your phone, laptop, tv and social media. There are so many messages swarming at us that on days when we are not in great headspace they are amplified and can be so utterly tormenting. Reducing tech stimulation helps to quiet the mind. When it’s not possible to entirely switch off, can you become more aware of your reading and viewing patterns, and limit the time you are using?

Get dressed up

Even if you are working from home, get dressed as if you are going to a really important meeting, or date! Put on the good clothes, put on the red lipstick (or whatever your equivalent is!) , brush your hair. Showing up to yourself, especially on the days when you couldn’t be bothered, helps you to see yourself differently. The inner critic hates that…

Give in (for a day… )

Somedays it just doesn’t budge or you don’t have the energy. Let the day slide. Stay in bed. Go to the cinema. Give yourself permission to have a slow day… the inner critic loves to chime in when you are tired but feeling obliged to be full of energy. Giving ourselves permission is one of the biggest game changers, and one of the hardest to implement… so before you go to bed that night, set some intentions for the following day. Plan your schedule. Set your outfit out and pre-empt some of the critic thoughts. Tomorrow is always another day.

And when all else fails, find a puppy! 

It’s hard to be down when there is a little playful animal around! For me, it’s Milly. On days when I just don’t feel up for anything, she still demands love, attention, cuddles and walks. In giving them I receive then all too… and somehow the slump is de-slumped!

Over to you.. any thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions? 

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Thrive School is soon coming to Cork and Dublin. It’s a 5 month programme to build momentum, learn strategies to design your life and business and take your elegant next steps with grit and grace… Find out more over here.   Want to stay in the loop? Sign up to my mailing list for monthly creative stirs and resources… 

Working with Accountability

 It may come across as a little clinical, but being accountable is one of the most liberating experiences I’ve had while running my own business. I like to think of accountability like a river:  the river would be but a deluge were it not for it’s banks and it’s bed. For the river to flow fluidly and effectively, it must have some boundaries.For me accountability is about setting myself a goal or challenges and then having some mechanisms to help me stay on track- or banks to my freedom. These boundaries can be self regulated or externally regulated- either way though they are there to support my output and momentum.Working alone from home most of the time it can be very challenging, distracting and at times isolating. To overcome this I have tried to build in accountablity into my weekly routine. When I have let this slip I notice a huge reduction not just in my creativity and productivity, but also in morale and mood.So, here a few ways to work with accountability- both self regulated and externally, with some tips for working with an accountability partner…

Set Deadlines

Deadlines are key. Create as many small deadlines as you can by breaking down projects into smaller chunks. As much as possible communicate those deadlines to others. And when you reach a deadline, celebrate or mark it in some way. Marking it helps you to have a feeling of momentum or achievement. Depending on the milestone, the celebration can be a simple as going for a walk or stopping for a cup of tea.

Create regular communications

A weekly blog, a monthly newsletter, a regular podcast or a consistent video release date- having an editorial calendar can help to keep you externally accountable to an readership or support base. Having to produce regular content builds in rhythm and structure to your week and keeps you connected with your clients and network.

Visualise Commitments

Make your goals visible and check in with them on at least a weekly basis. I have mine written up on a A3 sheet of paper which I keep close to my current workspace, and share them with my accountability buddies…

Accountability Buddy

By far one of the most powerful things I have done is work with accountability buddy. This is someone- usually a friend- who agrees to check in with me on a regular basis (generally once a week) and I with them. We share our goals, check in with our momentum and help to keep each other on track. They act as a supportive, listening ear but also someone to challenge, nudge and remind me of what I am are capable of. Importantly they help me see my blindspots and some of the things that I am are overlooking. Ideally we have a good laugh too…It is important to choose the right person tough, as not all friends will ‘get it’. For myself, a fellow creative or social entrepreneur works best for me; someone who is on a similar path and working on their own big vision. Here are a few tips for choosing a working with an accountability buddy..

Check in at regularly time slots

Approach it professionally. Especially if you are working with a close friend, treat your accountability arrangement like you would a regular business meeting. Arrive early. Prepare. Stick to the time allocated- this means it is more likely to continue. If you are working with a friend, for instance, but each time to meet it runs on for hours and hours, you can end up regretting the arrangement as you may feel it is distracting from family time or other work time.You can choose to meet on Skype, in person, or a mixture of both. You may find that at the beginning of your arrangement checking in weekly works best, but then it might move to every two weeks. Keep having conversations about what is working and what is not, reviewing and adapting as you go.

Have a pilot period

Again, especially if you are working with a friend, try it out for a short time first- maybe a three month timeframe. After the agreed timeframe review and see how you are both getting on. Always prioritise friendship. If you arrangement is getting in the way of that, maybe you are not right for each other as accountably buddies but perfect for each other as friends!

Work with your big vision

Let your buddy know your big dream or vision. Let then know what you really really want. Let them in on the secret desire… because they can help to remind you want it is your are working for, especially on days when you feel lost or lacking traction. Your buddy can raise the flag of your future and remind you it is there for the taking.

Agree parameters upfront

Agree with your accountability partner what you are seeking support on. Maybe you want advice on your business model- but maybe you don’t. Maybe you want their input on the design of your website, but maybe you don’t. Unsolicited feedback is some of the most unproductive kinds of feedback and can really deaden a relationship. Working with an accountability buddy doesn’t have to be license to critique everything. So be clear on the kind of support you are seeking on how you want that support to be given.

Avoid complaining (too much!)

We all have bad days. One of the advantages of working with an accountability partner is to have someone to travels the ups and downs with, but if it becomes a regular moan-fest, then it is a joy and momentum killer. Focus on solutions. One of the most powerful questions I know is; ‘what is your elegant next step’. It dilutes drama and shifts things into proactive and productive mode…

Ask proactive questions

Your accountability partner can help you see things you are not seeing. Here are a few questions which may come in handy:

• what am I not seeing?
• where are the gaps?
• what are my blindspots?
• are there additional opportunities you see?
• who/ what else should I be consulting?
• how else can my thinking be challenged on this?

So, how can you create some accountability for yourself? Think about who you may choose and what would be good parameters for your buddy arrangement…

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Maybe I can help too…

If you are looking for an accountability buddy, then perhaps we are a good fit? I have a new coaching package which is designed to get you clear on your commitments and keep you on track. Check out ‘Accountability Buddy’ here, and if you are interested let me know, we can arrange a preliminary chat and take it from there…If you are in the Dublin or Cork regions of Ireland you may also be interested in Thrive School- a 6 month training programme for creative and social entrepreneurs, freelancers, doers and trailblazers! As part off the programme we build in an accountability structure, working with two other peers over the course of the programme. Thrive School is launching again in Dublin and Cork in October. Find out more over here…

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Start Close In

But I don’t know where to start?But how do I know if I am on the right path?But I have so many ideas and interests I don’t know what to follow first?

‘Start close in’

That’s a line from a beautiful David Whyte poem.‘Don’t take the second step/ or the third/ start with the first thing/ close in/ the step you don’t want to take’In the world of options and openings, in the world of possibility and promise, there are many pathways. As we fill our world with media and screens and flickering glittering lights, it can be hard stop, let alone start. We jump ahead of ourselves. We follow a flock just because there is already movement there. We expect the answers elsewhere, externally.‘Start close in’You see, our bodies know. The intimacies of our cells and the spaces between the fibres of our inner being know when we are on the right track. They vibrate with aliveness and seek out the mystery. They are generous and open and communicative with the very thing that sets them vibrating.And when we’re not on the right path? We’ll, it’s contraction. It’s that deep pit in the stomach, distinct from nerves, which offers us ominous signs. It’s a tightening in the shoulders, a gripping of the jaw, a fake smile, an endless tiredness, an apathy that laces us up from within. Sometimes you can’t rationalise it. But you know.To stop is to face up to it and really listen. To stop can be the biggest, boldest move you will ever make. It is then that you’ll know you have to shake things up and make that daring move- leave a job, leave a relationship, face up to your addiction, apologise. You feel a quickening, and simultaneously the world that was known to you- your crutches and your vices- begin to rattle and wobble. No wonder you feel shaken.‘Start with the ground you know’, Whyte adds. It is a nod to what will steady us; ‘the pale ground beneath your feet, your way of opening the conversation’In learning to stand with solid feet on the ground, we learn to steady ourselves. We learn to take responsibility for our own presence here; the weight of our beingness, the quality of our relationship with our own aliveness. And when we stand still, and start there, we allow the silence in. This is a real place of courage and bravery: the place we find when we stop. We quickly learn that the silence isn’t really silence. It too has a voice. It resonates with the conversation we are inviting with ourselves. The real conversation. It welcomes in questions we haven’t wanted to face; the hard, bitter and challenging questions which we know will change us. The silence fine tunes our bodies so we can trust again, knowing what doors to close. As the silence rests in our bodies we can respond again to the clues that will set us on the right path. The silence is the key.

So, when you are wondering what is the next best thing to do or when you are unclear of the path, can you make space for the silence?

Can you choose to stop, to ground and find a way back into yourself because the wonderful thing is that when you start close in, you continue close in. You are closer to your own truth. This can be your gift to the world, for there you will be a better guide to others. There you can be a listening ear, a balm or a brave companion to another. And that way, together, we all can find our way to our own first steps, close in.

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Start close in,don’t take the second stepor the third,start with the firstthingclose in,the stepyou don’t want to take.Start withthe groundyou know,the pale groundbeneath your feet,your ownway of startingthe conversation.Start with your ownquestion,give up on otherpeople’s questions,don’t let themsmother somethingsimple.To findanother’s voice,followyour own voice,wait untilthat voicebecomes aprivate earlisteningto another.Start right nowtake a small stepyou can call your owndon’t followsomeone else’sheroics, be humbleand focused,start close in,don’t mistakethat otherfor your own.Start close in,don’t takethe second stepor the third,start with the firstthingclose in,the stepyou don’t want to take.~David Whyte, River Flow: New and Selected Poems

Listen to your own rhythm…. and why it is good for business.

Our circadian rhythms chime at our own pace. What is morning for one, is not morning for another. What’s late to some is early to others. And yet, in the world of work, ‘time management’ is a thing and 9-5 productivity taken as a standard.It is 22.44pm as I begin to write this blog post. It has been on my list all day to write it. But the weather was beautiful, there was music on the street this evening, and I wanted a walk with my dog. And so the writing got delayed, and delayed. But there was trust in my wandering ways too, for by now I know I am a night owl. As the evening descended and a beautiful silence with it, I knew the blog post would come. Writing has always been a night thing for me.I’ve never been one for regular hours, which is why a regular office job hasn’t suited me. It is the same for so many of the creative and social entrepreneurs I work with- we do this work partly because it can fit in with our own clocks and pace.Over the last few months, as I have transitioned into a new life in the South West of Ireland, I now aim for 4 hours of concentrated productive time a day; that is really focused time when I can work, move things forward, get things in motion. Whether those hours are in the morning or evening it really doesn’t matter- what matters is the quality of my output, concentration and productivity. Shifting my attention to the consistent quality of my relationship with my work has meant that I am getting more efficient, and having more beach time too. I get as much done in 4 hours as I did when I used to spend all day at a computer. The shift has been from managing my time, to managing and boosting my energy. I am enjoying life more, work more, and my body more. I take lots of breaks and go on lots of walks. I am cooking more too- enjoying planning my meals and turning off my computer when I eat. So when I do sit back down to do the work, my attention is clearer and more concentrated.There are days when I do spend lots more than 4 hours working, but only if I am in flow and feeling productive. If I am just staring at a blank screen or hopping from one website to the next, I turn it all off, get up from the table and go for a walk.Like everything, learning to focus it is a practice, one which I am constantly trying to refine. I am easily distracted so I’ve needed to put some ground rules in place to help me stay on track.So as learn this practice, here are a few things I have found helpful along the way, and offer a question to you ask yourself too….

Go with the flow

Working in ‘peak hours’- these are the hours when your natural rhythm is heightened. On occasion when I am in ‘the zone’, and when time does not seem to matter, I just roll with this. If energy is flowing, ideas are flowing and creativity on the go, I allow the work to evolve. My peak hours are early afternoon and late evening. Knowing this, I don’t schedule meetings or skype calls before 10am.*What are your peak hours? 

Move every twenty to thirty minutes

More and more I find it increasingly difficult to sit for long periods of time. I have taken to standing when writing emails, and every 30 mins or so, I try to either do some quick chair yoga stretches while sitting, or I get up to shake my legs.*What can you do to remind yourself to move on a regular basis?

Create blank space

So, it  while may look like that I am not ‘working’ all that much at the moment, but my daily walks are essential blank spaces. They are my idea generating/ incubation spaces. My walking time is time to think, process, plan, digest, innovate. It is time to be curious. It is often when I am walking that a solution to a problem will come, or an idea will pop. I usually have a journal with me to jot down any ideas along the way, I take some phone notes, or even record a voice memo into my phone. Sometimes I choose to take a particular client on an imaginal walk with me- thinking through some of their issues or challenges, and then seeing what resources, ideas, or solutions arise when I think about them- ideas I’ll later email. So as I get to exercise, my dog gets exercise and my clients get exercise too!*What does blank space mean to you? How can you create more of it in your daily schedule?

Schedule and structure time

While there is a lot of white and open space in my week, I am also becoming a lot more structured with how I use the remainder of my time. I have found ‘chunking’ meetings to be really helpful- scheduling them in blocks and around other meetings or appointments which I have. So when I need to go into the town or city I try to keep as many meeting together as possible. This has become even more important now that I am living in the countryside and don’t want to be spending all my time driving from one meeting to another.*What blocks of your work can you chunk together? 

Block weekly regular activities

Monday is always the day I do banking and send invoices, Tuesdays and Thursdays are Thrive School days. Wednesday has a two hour study time block and is my preference day for booking in private client calls. Having this rhythm to each week sets me up. Within each day there is a lot of flow, but each day has a weight and intention to it, which helps to keep me focused on the tasks at hand. It also helps my clients know when they may hear from me.*How might you ‘weight’ your own week? What intention can you give to each day?

One touch method

It is a simple premise: if you touch it, finish it.This is about linking single tasks as chunks and as much as possible following individual tasks to an end. Picked up a dirty cup? Wash it there and then. Needing to process photos? Upload, process, export and send all in one go. I’ve written more about the method here.*Think through a few task which you could apply this method too. Give it a go for a week and see what you notice… 

Tune into what fuels you

Naturally there are days where the slump hits (it happens to us all). So, rather than battling it, asking, ‘What will nourish me now? What will fuel me?’. Depending on the day, weather or season, this can vary greatly. Sometimes it is a conversation with a close friend, sometimes it is a walk by the sea, sometimes it is heading to a coffee shop with my journal or sometimes it is as simple as having a glass of water…*Make a re-fueling list. What are the simple things that you can incorporate into your daily schedule which nourish and sustain you?

Have the right conversations

Carving those four hours of concentrated time can require some upfront work or conversations. I don't have a designated office space at the moment, so I need to communicate with those around me when I don’t want to be interrupted, why, and when they can ask me any questions. Depending on the work I am doing, it often means needing to turn off the internet for a period of time so I don't get distracted by online conversations.*What conversations do you need to have to create focused time for yourself? 

Keep the vision alive

Why do you do what you do? What it is all for? What will you use your earnings on? How is your work impacting the world? Keeping the ‘why’ alive is a motivator, and helps with focus. Pinterest is a great tool for vision boards, as too working with an accountability buddy to keep having conversations about your dreams and visions. Connecting in with a vision is like keeping the gaze directed. As such, actions can follow.*What is your why and how can you keep is alive in your day to day activities? ...So there are a few of my own tips. Got any of your own? Feel free to share in the comments below... 

Letting the Future Enter: On the Power of a Journalling Practice.

I have lost count of how many I’ve had at this stage. A least 100, maybe more. Some are torn and tattered, some with lines. You see, since I’ve been 11 years old I have been keeping a journal. It is my constant companion, my guide and one of the best friends I’ve had. I bring one with me pretty much every where I go and when I don’t carry it I feel I am missing something.Recently I started looking at journals from a few years back, and I could see the same themes that are visible in my work now, re-emerged. There is a quote from Rumi which I love; The future enters into us, in order to transform itself in us, long before it happens’. Journalling is way for us to see our own future. It is the ground of imaginal space, where we can dream and vision and explore the possibility of the possible. As a personal development tool it has been imperative, and more and more as a business planning tool it has invaluable. Just a few years ago, for instance, I mapped out the idea for Thrive School, but I did not really realise what it was then. I wasn’t ready to see it, but it was ready to seed. Looking through my journal now, I can see it there. Over the few years it had been given room and space, and so when I was ready, much of the conceptual foundation work had been laid, and the seed was ready to germinate.Over the years my journal has offered me space to loose myself and find myself again. It acts as a witness, a mentor and a host to my inner world and realms. It is a private and sacred sanctuary, an incubation space and a punch bag. There are no rules as to what goes in or what stays out.At 11 my journal was all about frilly things and the inklings of boys, my teen diaries have pages ripped out of them and some are full of scribbles and tip-ex. I’ve travel logs going back to my first big journeys, written on trains in Russia, boats in Tonga, and back of pick up trucks in Zambia. Page by page I can track my evolution, the error of my ways and insights along the way. With time, I can see patterns emerging, clusters of ideas and the seeds of projects which later fell or flowered. In particular I can see just how important giving space to ideas is.On the blank page an idea has room just to be. It can be given the opportunity to be thought about, explored and questioned, without judgement or criticism. It is given a life out of the mind and onto the page. There it may need to sit for a while, to incubate, or fade.I have no expectations of need my journal to look at certain way- only that I love blank pages and work with a nice pen. My preference for the last few years has been blank, soft-backed large Moleskins. I love the texture of their covers and the weight of their pages. The soft cream coloured pages also helps so take a glare off a blank pageMy journal is not a day to day account of what I do. Rather it is a place to capture notes, thougths, feelings and suggestions. I write about my dreams. I transcribe quotes or poems which catch my eye. I track learning goals. I jot down things that are bothering me. When a chunk of time goes by that I am not showing up to the pages, I know something is astray. Getting back to the page inevitably brings me back to myself.   So, if you are interested in starting, or continuing your own journalling practice, here are a few tips and  suggestions:Handwrite your journal. I highly recommend handwriting your journal and not working on a computer or screen to type your journal. Writing is a way of physically expressing your inner process and thoughts. The weight of the pen on the page, the way your letters form, the speed with which you write, the variety and shape and sizes of you own lettering all has information for you about your inner process and ideas. I find it much easier to link and connect thoughts and solutions when on paper than on a screen.Keep your to-do list in a separate journal/ notebook. I’ve always separated out my to-do list. My journal is for reflection and long form ideas, while my to-do list is operational. If I use my journal for task lists, it become more of a ‘work’ place rather than a retreat space. Have a separate task list helps to protect the power of the journalling process.Invest in notebooks that you really really really love, and pens to go with them. Think of your journal as a luxiourious study or private library space. It’s sacred ground.Get in the habit of carrying it with you every where you go. This means you will need a cover and a spine that is durable enough to travel with you.Take yourself on journalling dates. One of my favourite things is to head off to a cafe with my journal and spend some quality time together. Ideally I don’t have other technology on the go at the same time as this is just a distraction.Don’t know where to start? Here are a few starter questions/ prompts which help to get the journalling process going.

Describe your current location.What is the light like?What colours are you noticing?What sounds are you hearing…

And once you get writing you can dive a little deeper…

What’s on my mind?How am I feeling right now?What am I thinking about?How goes life? And love? And flow?What do I need to hear right now?How can it be better than this?I am grateful for?

Every few months look back on your journal and ask yourself what patterns are emerging? What themes are you noticing? Where are you stuck or entrenched? What problems do you continue to encounter? Noticing these patterns is the first stage to solving the problem or issue you may be facing.When you are feeling stuck, ask yourself questions ‘What next questions’ and write an intuitive response. ‘What should my next move be? Who should I ask? Where should I go next? Our bodies and beings often already know what we need and the journalling process is a way of listening, capturing and then responding to this inner knowing. Often this process can reveal a deeper or hidden wisdom within you. I call this a ‘dialogue with my soul’. As you are answering, try not to censor what comes- just write for a few minutes of free flow form. Be open to seeing what happens and what answers emerge.Keep your journals in a safe space. Gather your journals in a box or a shelf in your bedroom. Wherever you choose, be sure it is somewhere you feel is a space place, away from guests, family members or colleagues. Knowing they will be kept in a secure place will help you express yourself more openly and freely when it comes to facing the blank page…Don’t worry about what your journal should look like, whether messy or pretty, whether there are spelling or grammar errors - just write. Scribble, doodle, cross things out, link things together. Your journal is just for you. Remember there are no rules. Happy journalling... may it be the flame to your most exquisite relationship with you and your ideas.  

Fearless Freedom

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I decided to do a little experiment with this post, and include a recording of me reading it. Some people love to read, others love to listen. So to all those listeners out there, this is for you. Click on the bar below to play. And for others, read on!

[audio mp3="http://www.claremulvany.ie/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Fearless-Freedom.mp3"][/audio] 

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I write it in bold across my diary.I say it in my head, out loud, repeatedly.I let the words rest on my heart, to move me.It was one of my yoga teachers, Cara, who planted them there last Saturday. ‘Fearless Freedom’, she said, ‘they are our words for the year’. Our practice together was an exploration of what it means to move from that place- with an intention to flow with grace and ease; to let go of what we know to discover what we don’t; to act through power with an unfaltering, unquestioning belief in our capacity for joy and our right to it from the inside out. Our practice was our offering. Our practice was prayer.They are two beautiful words. Fearless. Freedom. Together they pack a powerful punch. I have been sifting through the words over the last few days and it feels like they are here to stay. As signposts; as maps.I am making some big decisions at the moment, those big life altering ones, and fear has been visiting, frequently. It is the kind of fear that keeps me small; the fear that makes me doubt myself and the fear what swells procrastination to the point that it too becomes powerful.So what to do?‘Fearless Freedom’, I say again to myself. What would ‘Fearless Freedom’ look like right now? What would Fearless Freedom do?' It is as if Fearless Freedom is personified, taking a life of its own. I learn that it is a warrior at heart. It knows its own answers. It locates the cracks of courage within, sounds them out so as to amplify them, one little step at a time. Courage comes when given space to rise.The question alone is the key. ‘What would ‘Fearless Freedom’ do?’ By asking it, I am finding that the fear itself is diminished and possibility is allowed back in. You see, the questions we ask of ourselves make a difference. We ask bigger questions so that we get to expand into them. The bigger the question, the bigger the response. Then, with warrior words alight within our hearts, there is less room for procrastination, less room for the small, questioning self. Words matter. Questions matter.So, when I ask myself, ‘What would Fearless Freedom do?’, my inner self talks to my outer self, telling me it looks something like this:It means writing the email to the person you admire.It means asking for help.It means saying no when your gut tells you so.It means saying yes, over and over, to the dream, the vision, the place of possibility.It means go.It means doing it, even if you don't feel ready.It means placing value in what you offer.It means showing up, repeatedly, even when part of you wants to retract, calcify because right now it feels safer. Deep down, long term, you know it is not.It means I believe in you.It means let fear be your ally, keeping you moving, onwards.It means I love you.Fearless Freedom.Let’s wave that flag and let the questions fly.May the responses carry us, unfold us, unfurl us, yield us to the warrior within. Let them define us, refine us.Fearless Freedom.Let the words enter us, to move us, to clear our way, to make us believe again. Let them be our offering. Let them be our anchor. Let them be our prayer.I say ‘us’ here. For the ‘we’ matters too. Together we can pack a powerful punch. Courage comes when given space to rise, and it is easier as a pack. So I’ll take your hand, if you’ll take mine.Fearless Freedom.Amen.

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Learning to Ringmaster.

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Being a creative or social entrepreneur is akin to circus performance. You are learning to balance on tightropes as you juggle all your plates. Sometimes you feel like a bit of a clown as you put ideas out into the world not knowing if people will laugh or cry. Then there is the jumping through loops and hoops as you preform miraculous acts holding on by the skin of your teeth. Not to mention battling all the lions and tigers which enter the arena and the acrobatics you have to do with limited resources. And there you find yourself as ringmaster learning to co-ordinate it all with flair while selling tickets at the same time. Yes, a circus.Am I mad, I ask myself? There are frequent moments when I wonder why I ran away with the circus. Shouldn’t I just get a proper job and when did lion taming become part of my remit? But once in the arena there is a charm and a huge sense of gratification which keeps you showing up again and again.Brene Brown speaks about the power of being in the arena in her recent book, Daring Greatly and hinges inspiration on this quote from Theodore Roosevelt:

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man*who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

(*or woman, obviously)The arena, I have learned, while a place of daring and rich learning, can also be a lonely and a hard place too. There are so many times I have wanted to leave but only with the support of friends, mentors, coaches and leadership training have I been able to stick it out. And I am glad I am here.  It is through the strength of support and having people to bounce ideas around and who offer insights into my blind spots that I have been able evolve and keep learning. Which is how my own coaching offerings have grown and why I am doing the work I am doing. I believe in the arena and I believe it doesn't have to be such a lonely place. Creative coaching is a whole array of tools and processes I have developed and use for working in the circus (metaphorically of course). From visioning exercises, to branding and communications strategy I offer one to one support to keep you thriving in the arena. It is like having an accountability buddy to keep you on track and a fellow ringmaster to help co-ordinate a masterful performance. I’ve been working with a wonderful woman recently called Sharon Green, who runs a company called Queens of Neon. Sharon shared some words recently which captures some of the creative coaching process:

I have been feeling my way along for a very long time, taking creative projects that come to me through word of mouth and throwing myself into them whole heartedly.But I always wonder how I can get more of the projects that I love, how do I word my website properly to reach out to clients that have the projects that really make me tick. I was recommended Clare by a friend and she all at once made sense of my confusion. She made me see that it is a waste of my energy always trying to change the copy on my website until I understand what my dream and my vision is. To start back at the beginning feels very freeing and exciting.She asks the right questions and listens intently picking out the words and phrases that make sense and always paying attention on an energy level so notices when things excite you. She helps you see your dream scenario and gives you structure and homework to help manifest it. In my case she is also bringing me out from the shadows to feature prominently on my website, honing in to what it is that makes my business unique and that is me. Its true therapy for the creative business person. I would highly recommend Clare to anyone, who like me, feels like they are close to filling their true potential but for reasons just can't seem to just get there.

Pow! Thank you Sharon.So if, like Sharon, you have big visions, creative goals, dreams of possibility but you would like some support to help clarify your direction, perhaps some creative coaching is for you. I offer a number of tailored packages. You can find out more over here. If this sparks interest, I offer a free 20 minute Skype call where we can figure if we are a fit for each other and what areas of the arena to focus on so that 2016 will bring you closer to it all.May the games commence… (*insert circus theme tune!)END of circus analogy now, I promise!..The above photo was taken in Cambodia at a circus I went to. I had totally forgotten about this image until I used the new 'Camera Roll' feature on flickr. AMAZING. Any flickr users still out there? This tool is amazing...

The Night Owl

.I have always been a night owl. I love to stay up late, working, creating, writing, painting, pondering, figuring out my next moves.Lately though, the owl in me has been somewhat on overdrive. I find myself up at 2, 3 or 4 am, reaching for my journal. It is the quite time. There is a stillness as the street noise outside settles and the air falls soft. I turn my phone to quite mode, so there is no disturbance or even the possibility of disturbance. When the hush descends I feel I can penetrate into the mystery where the silence holds some of the answers, or at least indicates a way.The darkness is a portal to insight.Others find this silence and stillness in the early morning, but for me, it has always been at night.I could resist it, the late night pull but I have learned not to. I've had some of my best ideas and made some of my most radical decisions in those liminal hours. The other night, it was almost 2am when an idea which has felt blocked for months suddenly popped and a new wave of understanding entered. I had been looking at it entirely the wrong way round and in an instant it seemed to flip and there is was, a way through and forward illuminated. There was nothing for it but to grab a notebook and write. Pages and pages later I could see the light. It is the kind of light that only the dark of silence can offer; the light of stillness bringing the clarity of in-sight. The word itself if a clue. Mostly the answers are already within us. We know our own way forward but it just takes some inward reflection and a questioning spirit to find our way to our own insightfulness. I have also learned another thing: that when I write in such a way, there and then I need to collect action steps I can take into the very next day to carry the insight into the tangible. Otherwise the dream or idea can remain hidden too, coming out only at night when it feels safe to dream big and hold the ambition of possibility. In the light of day the distractions can creep in, and my fear or uncertainly too- so those tangible steps are critical. It can mean sending an email to get a project started, researching a domain name, registering a trademark, or sounding out the idea with someone you trust (all of which I did this week!).So each day, after a night of dreams, ask yourself, what is that one little step that can take you closer to the insight, can take you closer to the light, your light…..(PS: Staying up late also means I get up a bit later. I never schedule a meeting or job before 10am, if I can help it. It is just my rhythm and after many years of trying to convince  myself that I could be a morning person, I have given in to the fact that I will never be! The owl in me does some summersaults knowing I grant her permission to do her job without resistance. My mother, of course, has known this all along. I asked her recently want I was like as a child and she said even from when I very little (2 years old) this was my pattern. I refused to eat before 11am, but after which time I would come alive and want to stay up late. I should have listened to her after all!)